15 - Helmullet

"Well, Kid Flatfoot’s in traction, so he’s out of my hair for a while," Flatfoot says proudly.

"How lucky for me," Teckstyle grumbles. "So how come you’re up and about?"

"Fortunately, I’m an elusive kind of guy."

"Uh-huh."

"And the Devouring Earth standing over me took the brunt of the blast."

"That sounds more like it." Teck nods in satisfaction.

"I believe the proper term is ‘atomized’."

"You don’t say. So why are you here?"

"Eh, you know, exploring. Doing the grand tour of the area." Flat says innocently.

"So you came to the creepiest part of the city?" Teck asks skeptically.

Flat looks around the foggy street. "Nah, Astoria’s just a…a transitional neighborhood. Sure is a lot of fog though."

"You heard Adamastor was around, didn’t you?"

"…Yes. I thought I’d do my part in defending the city from high level threats. I CAN handle high level threats, you know."

"You just wanted the badge, didn’t you?"

"…Yes. But that doesn’t mean I still can’t handle world threatening dangers."

"Well, you just missed Adamastor."

"What?!"

"Yep. Fella went down like a bag of meat," Teck says, then pauses. "Come to think of it, he was just a bag of meat."

"I missed it?"

"Afraid so."

"Man." Flat grumbles and sits down on the street. Its not like he has to worry about traffic in Dark Astoria.

"Hey," Flat says. "How come the pedestrians fade away when I run up to them?"

"They’re dead Flat. Those are just ghosts." Teck replies.

"Huh. Guess the neighborhood’s more transitional than I thought. You know, that Manticore guy’s got lots of money, maybe he should try and clean the neighborhood up."

"That doesn’t seem likely. The zombie infestation’s way to big right now. Maybe in a couple of years." Teck says, floating a little higher and looking off in the distance.

"I guess. Hey, how come Icons doesn’t have a helmet style like his? I bet it’d be a killer seller for them." Flat says.

"Why?" Teck’s starting to get frustrated with the scrapper.

"Think of all groupies we could pick up with helmets like that." Flat says eagerly.

"It looks like a mullet." Teck says coldly. "I’m not wearing a mullet."

"Correction. A helmullet."

"A what?"

"Helmet mullet. Helmullet. Providing ten times as much protection for the skull as a regular mullet. Also, you never have to worry about hairspray."

Teck wisely ignores him. "I hear music."

"I don’t- Oh, wait, yes I do. What’s that light way over there?"

Teck’s helmet beeps as he zooms in with a pair of built in binoculars. "Its coming from a giant Tiki statue."

"You’re kidding."

"Nope. And its surrounded by zombies. And there’s a guy on drums."

"I’m gonna check it out," Flat says, streaking away. Teck pauses, sighs, then follows.

Flat’s looking around the corner to the scene down the street. A large Totem is standing in the center, glowing an unholy green light. A Shaman stands in front of it, beating a strange rhythm on a drum, and a group of zombies stand in a circle, chanting.

"What’re they chanting, Flat?" Teck asks.

The scrapper jumps up in alarm, turns around mid air, and lands in a fighting stance. "Ahhh!" he yells. "Oh, its you. They’re chanting about some kind of booger guy."

"I see," Teck says. "Say, it might be just me, but I’ve got a sudden craving for boat drinks."

"You too, huh?" Flat says. "Well, guess I’ll go over there and see if they got any hurricanes."
Teck watches Flat walk up to the Shaman and start talking to him. Sure enough, the Shaman motions with his hands and a swirling cloud of wind surrounds him, blowing Flat away. The Tiki statue swings an arm and flings splinters as Flat stands up and starts to run back to the corner. The zombies begin to follow him, as only zombies can.

"For Lhu Ghe Bu!" the Shaman shouts.

"What happened?" Teck asks as Flat passes him.

"I’m just glad I didn’t ask for a ‘sex on the beach’. Now run!" Flat says. "Or fly, or whatever it is you do!"

"Ok. I don’t think they’ll think to look for us here," Flat says in a ditch in the Hollows. He’s watching a group of Trolls a little further off walk up. Two of them have drums.

"I hear music again," Teck says, watching the Trolls start playing. A few others sit down while more start dancing.

"Look at those Trolls go," Flat says in appreciation.

"Got a pretty good beat too," Teck says.

"Hey!" Flat shouts. "Play ‘Freebird’!"

The ground opens up beneath them as a half-dozen Igneous jump out and trample Flat & Teck. Then they run off down the ravine.

"You know Teck," Flat says, spitting out a clod of dirt. "I get the feeling someone doesn’t like me."