Gary: Good afternoon Paragon City, I’m Gary "Wildman" Jenkins, and you’re listening to the Jungle, Paragon’s number two source of scuttlebutt.
Flatfoot: There you go again with that scuttlebut thing.
G: ...And joining me once again is the hero Flatfoot.
F: Hello again.
G: Flat, you've made waves across Paragon City again with your recent public statements.
F: Just to clarify, which statements are you referring to? The one about the lack of adequate busing or...
G: The other one. You were a speaker at an unveiling of a statue of, well, yourself, and you had this to say:
F: (pre-recorded) That's it? Thought it'd be bigger... My mic's on? Oh....Hello citizens of Paragon! Well here we are again, unveiling another statue that makes our skyline...unique. This time, and I must admit I'm incredibly flattered, the statue we're unveiling is one of me. The news came as a surprise to me, yes, but I'm not one to complain. About things like that anyway..... What? I've still got five minutes? Oh...... So, what's up with those badges they put all over the city, huh? I tell you, who's the one responsible for putting them on top of the most awkward places? Let me tell you, the amount of time I dedicated to trying to get to the top of Atlas, you'd swear there was some sort of conspiracy against heroes that don't have vertical moving powers. Actually, with all the crazy stuff happening in this town, I wouldn't be surprised it it WAS a conspiracy. As a speedster, I feel discriminated against--
G: And the recording cuts off there.
F: I remember that day. The statue turned into a giant robot and tried to kill me. That was a good day.
G: Robot rampages notwithstanding, what do you have to say about your speedster discrimination comments?
F: Well Wildman, can I call you Wildman? I've been giving it a lot of thought lately, and I've come to realize that a lot of zones in this city are just not speedster-accessible.
G: What do you mean?
F: Well, look at places like the Hollows. That gulch in there is pretty rough on heroes that can't go over the rubble. And don't get me started on Faultline.
G: What about Faultline?
F: Gah! I told you not to get me started on that! Faultline is the least accessible place for a speedster! Who can really say just how many heroes got lost there and never came back? Who?!
G: Who indeed. Let's open up the phone lines and ask the citizens of Paragon. Hello caller?
Teckstyle: Hi, Wildman? I really love the show. I just want to tell that scrapper with you to suck it up. Oh, boo hoo, you can't leap tall buildings. Maybe if you're having trouble getting around, you should get in contact with a teleporter. Its called "recall friend," you should give it a try. Of course, that would mean being someone's friend in the first place.
G: May I ask caller, how to you move around.
T: I'm a flyer, an' proud of it.
F: Teck? Is that you?
T: So what if I am?
F: You sound drunk.
T: Thash no businesh of yours *Click*
G: ...Well, let's stay away from the phones for a little bit...
F: See, that's the kind of anti-speedster discrimination I'm talking about. People have this image of us as happy-go-lucky daredevils rocketing around the city, but most don't know the ugly truth that one unluckily placed cardboard box can be deadly. We need to make people aware of the discrepency, aware of the hardships, we need some sort, some sort of--event or something.
G: What do you have in mind?
F: Oh, geez, I dunno. Something...something like a whole week of speedster awareness. Where speedsters across the city can get together and, I dunno, form a human chain around Atlas in protest or something. We could--we could put it in October, plan something big.
G: Like an Octoberfest.
F: No! An October-Fast! Here me speedsters of Paragon City! We cannot let the fliers, leapers and teleporters lord over us like they have in the past.
G: And that's about all the time we have for today--
F: Remember, height does not make might!
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