37 - The Annual

"It’s a, it’s a long way down," Flatfoot says, looking over the edge of Firebase Zulu.

"Yeah," Teckstyle says. "Good thing I can fly."

"Yeah. About that," Flat says. "Could, could you, um, carry me over to where we’re supposed to find those soldiers?"

"No."

"Oh come on…"

"What happened to the whole ‘Flatfoot powerlinks with no man’ thing?"

"Well then can you throw me?"

"Do I look like a tank? Don’t answer that." Teck says. "Besides, no passengers. The suit’s not rated for that kind of weight. I’m not going to be liable for any injuries sustained, thank you very much."

"But…"

"See those geysers at the edge? Those are for you. Watch."

Teck walks over to one of the geysers, steps onto it, and is launched into the sky. Moments later, Teck flies back.

"See? No problem. Try it."

Flat edges closer to the geyser, nudging it with his foot. "I dunno. Looks dangerous."

"That’s the point, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, but usually there’s some kind of hard surface to land on. That’s how it works. I’m looking down and seeing empty void."

"Quit yer whining," Teck says, shoving Flat onto the geyser.

Flat screams into the sky, headed for a floating rocky island. He reaches his arms out for an outcropping and comes of a few inches short and drops like a rock down the side of the island.
A few minutes later there’s a flash of light and Flat materializes back in Firebase Zulu. His eyes are wide in terror and he’s shaking.

"See, teleporter snag you back after you’ve fallen for so many feet."

"Buh"

"Ready to try again?"

"Guh."


Meanwhile, in the Candyverse….

Kid Flatfoot sits up in a pile of marshmallows.

"What was that?" He rubs his head and looks around the landscape. Large gumdrops dot across rolling hills of cotton candy. Chocolate covered trees sprout chocolate leaves.

"Huh." Kid Flat says, taking a bite out of a marshmallow. "Wonder where I am."

The sound of footsteps approaching disrupts his reverie.


Meanwhile, back in the Shadow Shard…

A whoosh of geyser air and a scream of terror signals that Flatfoot’s gone airborne again. He flies over an island where Teck is waiting patiently by a secret passage.

Flat tries to control his descent but ends up overshooting the small island and plummets into infinity again. Teck taps his armored foot against the ground and sighs.


Meanwhile, back in the Candyverse…

Kid Flatfoot looks up to see a giant chocolate rabbit hopping down a bunny trail.

"Well hello Mr. Bunny Rabbit," Kid Flat says.

The rabbit turns its head to the scrapper and opens its mouth, baring teeth made of rock candy.

"Oh," Kid Flat says as a stream of piping hot chocolate shoots out of the rabbit’s mouth. He throws up a marshmallow just before the chocolate hits, and it hisses and steams against the barrier. "What is wrong with you???"


Meanwhile, back in the Shadow Shard.

A scream and a thump signals the ungraceful landing of Flatfoot on a floating island. Teck yanks him to his feet.

"You done fooling around?"

"It--I--I saw a being of indescribable power…"

"Did he say anything?"

"He said ‘knock off all that racket before I settle your hash but good."

"Well, is that like a metaphor, or something?"

"I…I think he was being literal."

"That’s deep Flat. Real deep."

"I- What is THAT???" Flat shouts, pointing to an Overseer floating nearby.

"Um. A giant floating eye."

"Oh. Well, that’s more like it. Oh my God! Its got teeth!!!"


Meanwhile back in the-- Oh wait, this is Sharkhead Isle. Ok, uh, yeah. Sharkhead’s a pretty nasty place to find yourself, unless you’re pretty nasty yourself.

In a mold-ridden, smoke-filled dockside dive called the Tropic of Cancer, a group of ne’er-do-wells cluster around a stained and sticky table. One of them sips carefully from a mug before spitting out the contents.

"Ptui! Vat is zis garbage?" Dr. Umlaut demands.

"Arrr. Tis the finest grog this side of Davey Jones’ locker," Flatbeard, the owner of the bar, defends.

"Its crap," Crank Shaft says indifferently. He’s turned away from the table and watching two of his robotic minions trying to punch each other in the head.

"Do you have any Schnapps?" Dr. Umlaut asks.

"Just grog."

"Vat kind of a rinky-dink place is zis?"


Meanwhile, back in the Candyverse…

The gigantic chocolate rabbit roars viciously, baring teeth of the hardest rock candy. Kid Flatfoot trembles in terror, his marshmallow shield melted by the steaming chocolate.

Mid-roar, something hit’s the rabbit’s head, causing it to shatter. The hollow shell of the beast crashes to the ground.

Hovering behind the monster is a figure in candy-apple red.

"Teckstyle?" Kid Flatfoot asks.


"Teckstyle?" a Corruptor says at the end of the table in the Tropic of Cancer. "Yeah. I got arrested by him one time. The jerk smashed my goggles when he hit me in the face."

"What kinda name you got?" an enormous rocky brute named Urban Sprawl asks.

"Screech Howl."

"I’d’ve hit you myself," the brute nods.


"Geez," Chocolate Teck says, landing next to the fallen rabbit. "Took three days to track this little-"

"Um, Mr. Teckstyle?"

"Look, I don’t know who you are, kid, but the Death-By-Chocolate Valley’s no place for rookies."

Suddenly a lollipop bursts through Chocolate Teck’s chest.

"Oh crap," the hero says, looking down at the caramel slowly oozing from the wound before falling to his knees.

Behind him, a dark silhouette begins laughing the laugh of the crazy. "Stupid hero! Can’t catch me, I’m the GINGERBREAD MAN!!!"

Chocolate Teck gurgles something as he presses a button on his armor.

"Uh-oh," the Gingerbread Man says right before the explosion.


Meanwhile, back in the Shadow Shard…

"Well, that’s one squad of soldier’s that’s gonna see their families again," Teckstyle says stepping out of the cavern.

"Man, that was some of the weirdest stuff I’ve ever seen. Those skinny guys that look like academy awards just vanishing, the little winged…things, and those eyes. Eyes with teeth. I’m gonna have nightmares for weeks now." Flatfoot says, walking alongside Teck.

"So you’re saying you liked it?"

Flat starts walking backwards while talking to Teck. "Its not so bad. That and Firebase Zulu’s pretty coo-----ahhhhhhhh!"

Teck merely shakes his head as Flat plummets back into infinity. "Meet you back at the portal," he says and takes off.