*The road to the countdown to the beginning of Secret Crisis War On Infinite Flatfoots: Dissassembled (SCWOIFD for short) Continues Here!!
Deep inside the bowels of a Crey laboratory, two heroes tear a hole through any opposition in their way. Klaxons blare over and over until shot out by the blaster.
"We’ve been fighting through a lot of medics, researchers and scientists lately," Flatfoot says thoughtfully.
"So?" Teckstyle asks.
"I imagine they didn’t spend 2-4 years working on a post-grad degree just to get beaten up by a pack of wandering heroes."
"Well, since this is Crey we’re talking about, you know they get great dental coverage," Teck answers. "And at the rate you’ve been kicking them in the teeth, that’s great news for them."
"I do what I can," Flat says, dropkicking a terrified radiologist. "Yeah, actually I’m thinking of giving them my resume."
"Didn’t we already have the whole Crey = Evil conversation?"
"Hey, a secret identity’s gotta eat, you know."
"I shudder to think of you in civilian life," Teck says, blasting a security guard into a wall.
"All the same, sewage is expensive to get washed out of the suit. And hair. Do you have any idea how much shampoo I go through weekly? Bottles!"
"I wouldn’t go for R&D if I were you," Teck warns.
"Wouldn’t dream of it, that’s more your forte."
"I’m not a-never mind."
"Nah, actually I’m thinking of doing the field agent thing. You know, keep kicking faces and get paid for it."
"You’re sure they’d take you?"
"I’ve got no criminal record, good references…"
"Name one."
"Um…Back Alley Brawler?"
"Whatever, Flat."
"So," Flat says, knowing the topic was exhausted. "We’re supposed to rescue some Rikti monkeys?"
"Enhanced Rikti monkeys," Teck corrects.
"Sounds like something I get in my e-mail."
"Why do I let you talk!?" Teck moans.
"I wonder if its natural Rikti enhancement?"
"Just. Shut. Up!"
Several minutes, three power tanks and a roomful of screaming scientists later, the first monkey was rescued.
"Hey, the little guy really likes you," Flat says.
"I know, I saw how he was going after those power suits."
"Awww, sounds like somebody’s got a pet. Hey, maybe he can play with Bismarck and Garibaldi."
"I…don’t think that’s such a good idea."
Suddenly, a squad of reinforcements rushes in. The monkey screeches and runs forward. Seconds later, the threat is ended.
"Um," Flat says. "Were we supposed to let the monkey get killed like that?"
"Hey, the contact said they needed to be rescued. Didn’t say they had to be breathing," Teck shrugs.
"That’s cold, man," Flat says.
"Ice in my veins, dude," Teck says. "Gotta be in this line of work."
"Ok, that second monkey didn’t last long at all," Teck says.
"Not my fault. Those scientists chased me down the elevator."
"Gotta admit I was impressed seeing him take down that Voltaic Tank. Little guy had moxie," Teck says admiringly.
"Hey, this last one managed to stay alive," Flat says after the third monkey was broken free.
"Probably because he’s clinging to my back," Teck answers.
"Guess that does it. Let’s get out of here before they start sending the guys from accounting after us."
"Best. Mission. Ever," Teck says as the three exit the lab.
Flat calls up his contact. The two chat for a bit and then Flat hangs up. "Ok, this one’s weird. Indigo’s telling me to find Countess Crey and take her to a safe house in Galaxy."
"Where’s she located now?"
"Same place we were just in."
"Back inside?" Teck asks.
"Back inside."
The two heroes make their way quickly through the now-silent halls. They open a doorway.
"Well, there’s your precious Countess, Flat," Teck says, trying to pry the monkey off his back.
"And she’s surrounded by Paragon Protectors!" Flat shouts, charging in. "Watch out, ma’m, they’re evil!"
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