*The road to SCWOIFD Continues Here!!
"What is the meaning of this!?" Countess Crey demanded.
"Now, ma’m," Flatfoot tries to explain. "I know this may seem rather villainous, but I assure you we’ve only brought you here for your own protection."
"You had no right to do this! I’ll have your licenses revoked!" the Countess raves.
"Now I know you’re a little upset about the 20 or so feet of rope tied around you, but you were thrashing around a lot, so we had to do that for your own protection," Teckstyle says.
"See, we were warned that you might be under some kind of mind control and would be dangerous," Flat reassures. "Once we get all this sorted out, you’ll be as right as rain again. If it ever rained."
"Flat," Teck whispers. "This is crazy! She’s an archvillain!"
"Ixnay on the illainvay," Flat hisses, then turns to the Countess. "Now ma’m, I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. There are forces aligned within your company that are trying to besmirch your good name with heinous acts of villainy."
"Flat," Teck whispers again. "Where’d you get those big words?"
"Bought ‘em at the thrift store." Flat answers. "Now Countess, we have reason to believe that these same nefarious forces may have behind your husband’s debilitating illness."
"Why that’s preposterous!" the Countess yells. "Nothing but a pack of lies! All of it! You’ll hear from my lawyers."
"Oh, I wouldn’t trust the power of your attorneys," Teck says. "Flat here is a crack legal expert."
"Yeah that’s--huh?" Flat asks.
"You know all those billboards around town?" Teck continues. "That’s Flatfoot."
"Wait, I’m not a lawyer," Flat protests.
"A BLIND lawyer at that," Teck adds proudly.
"I’m not blind!"
"The way you throw you are."
"What, you mean like that Jenkins fellow?" the Countess asks.
"Exactly," Teck says.
"I’m not even bald!!" Flat shouts, tugging on his hair.
"A clever disguise," Teck whispers to the Countess.
"Look, all I did was intern at a law firm for three months," Flat protests.
"He’s so modest," Teck says patting Flat on the shoulder.
"I’m not a-- Look, its obvious that the Countess is under some kind of mental control," Flat says, giving up. The Rikti are probably involved in this somehow. Teck…prepare the Anti-Mind Control Device."
Teckstyle picks up a nasty looking club with bright LED lights dotted across its surface. "Well…ok. This might hurt a bit," he says, bringing the AMCD down on the Countess’s head with a loud BONK.
When the Countess regains her senses, she looks up at Flat & Teck looking concernedly at her. Her hands are untied.
"Sorry we had to resort to such drastic measures, ma’m," Flat says reassuringly. "But the situation was growing desperate. Care for some hot coffee?"
"Who are you?" the Countess asks.
"Coffee’s all gone, the monkey at it," Teck says.
"All of it? Where is he now?"
"Chewing through the ceiling," Teck says, looking up.
"Ok…Well how about some nice warm tea then, Countess?"
"Uhh…Tea will be fine. And a cold compress please."
A few hours later, all three are seated around a table and chatting.
"Flat," Teck says. "I’ve gotta let the monkey out."
"No dice," Flat says. "Indigo said to keep put in this safe house, so that’s what we do. Got any sevens?"
"Go fish," The Countess says.
"Man, I hate this game," Teck grumbles.
There’s a sound from above followed by a loud ZZZzt and the sound of a Rikti monkey thudding to the floor. The lights go out.
"The monkey just ate through the power line," Teck says, still looking at his hand.
"I noticed," Flat says, trying to read the cards in the dark. "Is he ok?"
"Still twitching. That’s good right? Means he’s still alive?" Teck asks.
"Sure why not. You’re the doctor."
"I’m not a- never mind. He could probably use the nap anyway."
"So tell me Countess, just how did a charming lady like yourself get to become an industry titan?" Flat asks.
"Oh, after I married the Count, I just sort of picked up the experience along the way. I was a natural at it," the Countess says. "After my husband…" she trails off trying to concentrate on the memory. "Became ill, I was able to step in and keep it going strong."
"My, that is impressive," Flat says. "I really do hope he gets better, you sound like a great couple." A ringing sound interrupts the conversation. "Hang on, I’ve got to take this. Hello?"
"Er, hello?" the voice on the other line says. "Is Amanda there? Last name Huggenkis?"
"Sorry," Flat says. "Nobody here named Amanda. You must have a wrong number." Flatfoot hangs up the phone with a click. "Man, what is it with all these wrong numbers I’ve been getting lately?
A thunderous crash knocks one of the walls of the safe house down.
"Countess," Crank Shaft says urgently. "My name’s Crank Shaft and we’ve been sent here by Lord Recluse to rescue you from your imprisonment!"
"Hey, I helped find the place," Deadfoot says indignantly.
"I--what?" the Countess asks, thoroughly confused.
"Deadfoot?" Flat asks."Flatfoot?" Deadfoot calls back.
"Oh, you’re being a very naughty alternate me!" Flat yells and charges the brute.
Now, since the fight scene that follows is set in a pitch black warehouse with no windows or working lights, things get quite murky, but I can tell you that there were lots of lasers shooting around and it looked totally cool, but since it was so dark, we’re just going to skip to the end.
"Unhand me you cretins!" The Countess yells as Deadfoot restrains her.
"Yep," he says. "Looks like you were right. Mind control."
"Well," Crank Shaft says, hefting an Anti-Mind Control Device covered in Red LED lights. "Time to use the AMCD."
A loud BONK echoes in the safe house.
"Wh-where am I?" the Countess asks, staggering a little as Deadfoot lets her go.
"These heroes won’t be bothering you anymore," Crank says.
"I feel ill, can I go home now?" the Countess asks.
A few minutes after the villains clear out, Teckstyle stirs.
"Flat?" he asks.
"Yeah?""Can you move?"
"No. I think my bones might be smashed."
"Flat, the monkey’s eating through my armor."
"That sucks. Do you think Indigo’ll be pissed at us?"
"Probably. Then again, this might be one of her bigger plans and we were meant to let her escape."
"I’m just worried about the Countess being whisked away by those villains. I mean, they could brainwash her again," Flat says.
"So what’re we gonna do about Deadfoot?" Teck asks.
"I dunno, maybe write him a stern letter."
"Well, look on the bright side, Flat. At least you didn’t get shot in the head."
"Yeah, there’s that at least. Can you call an ambulance?"
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