27 - The Jaeger Bomb

"Sure has been quiet the last couple of days," Teckstyle says, hovering several inches above ground.

"Yeah, where’s all the crime?" Flatfoot says, pausing in doing the "I’m not touching you" game to Synapse.

"Don’t know."

"Oo, maybe they’re all on spring break!" Flat says, getting excited.

"What? Why would villains go on spring break?" Teck asks.

"Oh, villains are a crafty lot. It probably all part of their master plan…"

"Ok, smart guy, and just what exactly would that be?"

"I’m not quite sure, but I really hope it involved Carnies playing beach volleyball and lots of tequila." Flat says, staring off into space.

"That’s great, wanna get a taskforce together?" Teck asks.

"No," Flat says absently. "I’m enjoying my fantasy."


Meanwhile, back at the Zig…

"Whatcha got there Cranky?" Deadfoot asks his roommate.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh come on, you’ve been working on that thing for the last three nights."

"Wha-? You’re making things up!"

"No, its right here," Deadfoot says, jumping down from his bunk and walking over to the device. "See? I’m tapping it right now."

"You’re imagining things!"

Deadfoot stares at his cellmate.

"Ok fine, its my ticket out of here."

"There you go Cranky." Deadfoot says proudly. "Now, how’re we getting out of here?"

Crank counts to ten silently then speaks. "Its called a Jaeger Bomb. My contacts in the Nemesis Army have been smuggling me parts and schematics for the last few weeks. Its got enough power to level a city block."

"You sound bitter. Somebody give you the shaft at some point, Cranky?"

"You have no idea…Wait…Shaft. Crank. Crank Shaft! Yes!"

"Whee! That’s great!! Um, why so happy?"

"That’s what I’ll call myself when I begin my reign of terror."

"Oh. That’s nice."

The Jaeger skitters across the room and starts buzzing loudly.

"Hey, your little robot’s doing something…" Deadfoot says.

A loud explosion rocks the prison, followed by a cloud of smoke and debris that obscures everything for a few minutes.

"Damn! You weren’t kidding Cranky," Deadfoot says, standing up and brushing himself off.

"That wasn’t me, you idiot! It came from outside."

Deadfoot looks back at the Jaeger Bomb. "Oh."

The Jaeger spins around on its legs, then with a release of steam, it collapses.

"Attention super villains!" a voice calls out in the halls. "This is Arachnos. Will all Destined Ones please report to the Arachnos Flyer outside. This is a jailbreak. Just Destined Ones, OK? The rest of you, just forget you heard this." After the voice finishes, the cell doors all slide open.

"Woohoo!" scream a chorus of convicts as they rush out of their cells.

"You coming?" Crank Shaft asks from the cell door, Jaeger Bomb cradled lovingly in his hands.

"Um, Ok." Deadfoot says, following.

Outside at the Flyer, a few Wolf Spider Agents stand around, ushering villains into the ship. The pilot tries to read a clipboard in his hands.

"Hey, Bert," he says. "Which one’s the Destined One?"

"Check the list," Bert says.

"I tried. I can’t read Jenkins’ handwriting. Besides, there’s a lot written on here, and aren’t we looking for ‘The Destined ONE’?"

Bert shrugs. "Ask Jenkins then. I’m just following orders."

The pilot sighs. "I don’t know where Jenkins is."

"I, uh, think he’s setting up bombs for our escape."

"Thank you Simms," the pilot says. "Alright, guess we’ll just have to ask these guys if they’re Destined or whatever."

"Wait," Bert says. "How will they know?"

"Way I see it, if you’re Destined, you’ll know it." The pilot stops a nearby brute. "You, what’s your name?"

"Shoulder Burn."

"You a destined one?"

"…Yeah. Yeah!"

"All right, climb aboard. Next!"

"I’m a destined one!" Crank Shaft shouts. "All humanity will cower before my armored might."

"Right," the Pilot says. "Get in. Next!"

Deadfoot steps up to the Pilot. "Uh, hi. Look, I think there’s been some kind of mistake…"

"Of course there has, you’ve been locked up by the spandex-clad hypocrites, but that’s fixed now," Bert says encouragingly.

"No, its just that I’m-" Deadfoot tries to say.

"Look, you a Destined One or not?" the Pilot says impatiently.

"I don’t know."

"What do we do if they don’t know if they’re Destined Ones?" Bert whispers to the Pilot.

The Pilot scratches his chin with a ballpoint pen thoughtfully. "Hmm. Better not risk pissing of Lord Recluse if we leave one behind accidentally. Bring him along, we’ll let Kalinda sort it out."

"You heard the Man," Simms says. "Climb aboard."

"Um. Ok," Deadfoot says, stepping onto the flier.

"Hey, can somebody go check on Jenkins?" the Pilot calls into a walkie-talkie. "We’re getting pretty full and I want to shove off soon."