41 - The Stink Of Destiny

A quartet of stalkers stalk through the alleys of the Rogue Isles.

"So…where are we going?" Tecknique asks.

Their leader, a two-dimensional fugitive from the Candyverse, turns around suddenly. "Didn’t we go over this already?"

Four heads shake as one.

"Funny, I thought we did. Anyway, I’ve been flung into this pathetic world by an incredibly violent explosion. It stands to reason that the best way to get back there is the same thing."

"What about Portal Corp.?" Invisibull asks.

An elbow jabs him in the ribs. "Shhh, we be havin’ a chance at some major mayhem here. Don’t spoil it," Flatbeard the Pirate says.

"Best place to do that is Terra Volta," Pizzocato Polecat says, grinning a feline smile.

"What’s that?"

She points a claw at a column of smoke rising from a nuclear power plant in the distance. "That."

"Ohhh…kay…." the visitor says. "What’s it do?"

"It be a nuclear power plant."

The visitor doesn’t respond.

"It generates energy like a beached whale generates stinkflies."

The same response.

"It’ll blow up real good."

"Well, why didn’t you say so!"

"Arrr, it be one of those days."

"How…how do we get there?" the sugary visitor asks.

"I know a tunnel network," Tecknique says. "But you’ll have to be extra quiet."


"Hey Teck?" Flatfoot asks.

"What," Teckstyle answers.

"You ever feel like you were destined for something? Like, special birthmarks, and being a Chosen One and stuff like that."

"If I say yes, will you stop talking?"

"I could totally be a Chosen One. I mean, what do they have that I don’t?"

Teckstyle sighs. "The fact that they were chosen, maybe?"

"That’s my point. The only way you can be a Chosen One is if there’s someone to do the Choosing. Otherwise, they’re just another goofball off the street."

"Like yourself."

"Exactly. Hey!"

"So what do you plan to do about it?"

"I’m gonna find the guy who’s been choosing all these Chosen Ones and kick him in the promised land."

"How…enlightened of you."

"The path to wisdom takes many roads," Flat says sagely.

"That doesn’t make any sense," Teck says, scratching his helmet.

"The noisy cricket gets the grease."

"And there it is. I just had an aneurysm."


"So…is this like, a revenge thing or a mid-life crisis kind of thing?" Deadfoot asks.

"Flatfoot ruined my life!" the Reverse Flat says.

"So its revenge. Gotcha."

"You don’t seem to be taking this seriously," Reverse Flat says.

"No, no. I’m down with it. I just wanted to be on the same page."

"Look, I have a lot of calculations to do right now, so just sit down over there and be quiet."

"Can do chief," Deadfoot says.

The brute watches Reverse Flat for a while and twiddles his thumbs.

Hey," he asks two minutes later. "Can I go get a soda?"

"There’s lemonade in the kitchen. Please. Help yourself," Reverse Flat says through gritted teeth.


"The time grows close," the blue cloud says.

"You said that a week ago," the purple cloud answers.

"Well, the time is growing closer then. Every day draws the moment nearer, and we must be ready-"

"You don’t know, do you."

"The visions are not clear on that, no."

"Then this is a fool’s errand."

There is a long pause from the blue cloud. "Perhaps you are-"

Teckstyle rockets past the two energy clouds. A Doppler shifting scream accompanies him. Sparks crisscross his battle suit.

The two clouds give the impression that they are looking at him while he soars out of view.

"Now that…that WAS in the vision," the blue cloud says eventually.